YOGA TIME

Mother called this morning, to remind me of her gift listing that needs to be delivered on time to her, so she can wrapped it all as early ,Now  here for thera band exercise bands to test if this is truly one of its best. I do not know yet  the effect of said band but I hope it will tone up my inner being , mental competitiveness and health status. Glad that I learned about keeping such activity on my list to fight all stress awaiting to devour my only hope.

THE GOOD BUSINESS PARTNER

Oh It has been a week now since my last visit in here, but this time I have a better whereabouts of my absences. As I have written in my previous posts, I am into new business venture which makes my days full of actions. 

I know it isn't easy venturing into a business line when you knew only basic about the rules, and one of the limitation is, you cannot managed it personally, I mean your not  hands on with the business. Yet, even though it is the sad part, the good part is that I had my family who supports me all the way. So my worry was lessen half a bit of it. Only, I cannot fully express my aggressiveness, my strict policy over them because of my blood relation with my partners. Though it is not my idea of it, still my heart says tenderly. In case where instruction must be cascaded immediately,I have to make sure the message is clearly delivered in way that my mother will agree with it. Not an easy task  but I like the fact that, this business has brought me closer to my mother and we are able to combine our ideas for the betterment of our business.

SILENCE IS BEST SERVED

I read the news today of yahoo news and went to browse about the hottest talk in town then found out that Shaina Magdayao had confirmed the rumors of ending her relationship with the actor, John Lloyd Cruz. And some commentors says that the issue just brought up to this day because one of these involved party has a movie or a soap opera to promote on television, and so get the attention of the masses they needed to create an issue. But what's my point, actually I do not care about them I think that's how they play in showbiz that's why I never enter into that business to keep my privacy. lol!

Misunderstanding in a relationship is normal, In fact they say that a relationship that never experience a petty quarrel or a misunderstanding is abnormal. Because each of us grew up differently to others, my upbringing is different from you. But even if our opinion is different from others the most important is that the gesture of respecting others. Yesterday, I had a misunderstanding with someone special and it turn out bad to a point that some harsh word was uttered. To cut the talk, one has to stop and retreat but after the conversation, the words automatically play in my mind then turn off some light inside. 

Silence is best served for the meantime , I refuse to talked even if the person has already ask forgiveness. For I am not ready yet , because I am  afraid I might talk trash as the whole conversation is fresh. It is not that , I am being proud because I am keeping my fight, but it is because I am yet polishing my words that the  angst is gone totally when I turn back to speak up. 

THE GIFT OF LOVE

I was once asked by my friend the secret recipe why my relationship with my long time boyfriend become stronger and stronger through out those years, and I paused for awhile and answer him. There is no special recipe for ours I think, its just that maybe the respect, trust and  love keeps us closer. I don't know why all of a sudden he became curious about my life as if he was trying to absorb some details. 

Then,I remember two days from now they will celebrate their 1st year anniversary with his girl as couple, but unfortunately they are at war to this moment and he needed a rescue according to him. So I told him,  get your girlfriend some chocolate strawberries for it would surely melt her heart away, girls are so easy to please specially if the effort comes from their special someone, because we long for love ,care and pampering. After hearing those words from me he ask me to go with him to help him look for his peace offering. Nice move.

A SUGARRY FREE PEACE OFFERING

Its a Sunny Sunday today ,seems like the sun is also smiling with me and it feels good. After feeling low and upset the fast few days, but as the saying says -at the end of the tunnel there is light. Five days ago, my bf and I had a fight and I was having a hard time understanding his side because I , too has my own opinion and stand over the matter that ends us  up debating. Then suddenly  He walked out and did not talk to me for two days,in return I did not  respond to all his text and calls, which frustrate us both. But came yesterday, I didn't expect him to be visiting me,while I was outside hanging out with my friends without informing him of my whereabouts. 

My housemate says he was there for more than  five hours already. But I believe it was not my fault, he could have texted me that he was here so I could have at least go home early. When I arrived here last night, they were having fun, he approached me when he saw me and asked me to join them, and  I did. The highlight of that night was that, he asked forgiveness  for the immaturity he showed me and hand me a sugar free chocolate gift baskets, which he knows one of my weakness aside from strawberry ice cream. Yum Yum.

I'VE LEARN IT THE HARD WAY

I woke up late today, I forgot to alarm my clock. I did inform my boss of my whereabouts this morning. I have no choice other than to file an under time, since I had three tardiness for the month and if I make it to four times, I 'd get an award for sure. So better this way. Oh, and by the way , last Friday my boss showed me my employees performance appraisal report, the coverage of the appraisal is  from January -June 2010. She was a bit hesitant to give me her findings about my performance. Looks like there's something to break it  it to me gently. Of course I've been expecting that. After the incident that happened to us, in my first 4 months of stay under her.

When she handed me the report and saw the appraisal report, it says , I have meet the standard but low. Wow, a slap on my face. From the range of 10, I was rated 5.80. It immediately came to my mind that it's pay back time for me. Anyway, I keep myself noted on all her comments. Like I was hard headed, stubborn and need's more instruction before I could get it right.  Yay! I know for sure, I am not that kind, and because it was her opinion, I let it go. If I could remember, the reason why she requested me to be her assistant, and asked my previous boss to let go of me, and leave my previous boss no choice and let me decide is that she promise me a good package and career growth, because she knew I have the potential, She knew that because I already  work for her for countless times even if she has her own assistant. But then , after I started reporting under her,. I didn't like some of her  rules and I became rebellious with her ways. I disobeyed her  at times. And yet, her time comes to rate me. It's pay back  time. I can't react because I really  made an impression, I was hit in my attitude. Though I know I performed well, the criteria is not  just about performance but more of attitude too, and I am so guilty on that part. I've learn it the hard ways. Now,  I still have until December , before she will do another appraisal. Since every six months we are evaluated, all employees from executives up to the ranks. We are just evaluated, but there's no merit increase if you excel. But it will be kept in our 201 files. They say for future references.  Well, whatever, maybe this is the reason why until now, I'm still working with her. To make up and show her that I am also good and nice. Anyways, were starting a new friendship and I am obedient now. I was just provoke and so the bad blood flows once upon a time.

RECONCILED

I was talking about my relationship with my boss at work on my other blogs and I don't know If I have cursed her, hope I did not. I thought having an online journal that sums up your individuality is cool. I was blinded by my overwhelming feelings of being "offended and hurt" . So I keep blogging about her to release my anger and disappointment. The guts in me. Lately I realized I was wasting my energy and have allowed the enemy of this world to manipulate my feelings. Too late for me, I already disrespect her, I already make her suffer and taste those feelings that " I thought she deserved". But thank God, we were able to seat down and settle our issues. I personally ask forgiveness for all my lapses same thing,that  she ask forgiveness too  for those actions that have  pushed me to become rebellious with her. I am happy now that we reconciled. We talked and agreed  to work out our working relationship. And good thing, we are doing great now.Were not that close but at least we are trying and really doing well. Sometimes I still have this uncomfortable feeling, but  I am not entertaining it  because I want to make up with my boss. This is the best thing that I can do, so that when I leave her and find my future outside the company.  I would love to recall my memories with her  as the boss that understand, that supports and  that has a big heart to everyone.

THE MORE THE LESS

My feelings these fast few days is not that good but not that bad. I have to experienced some embarrassment and annoyance and disappointment to step up. Why I say so? Because I realized that the more I expect big the less I get and the bigger I get disappointed. It cause me to stumble and have myself questioned everytime the day would end. I have a relationship with whom who had flaws and not perfect, we had our fight and arguments oftentimes yet were still trying to save the relationship. My patience is being tested and my tongue has become sensible in choosing the words that I am to release. But why is that the more I tried to tame my tongue and the more I tried to extend my patience and hold my control, the less I fell happy with what I am doing. The feeling is like I am trying to be in control, trying to be calm, trying to be cool and unaffected but I end up fooling myself because I feel like something in me is being oppressed. I'm getting the message and I am trying to do something before it totally consumed me.

anne a lay apostle 

WEDDING BELLS

One of the news anchor in the morning shows that I used to watched everyday had her shower party in their set. Her colleagues gave her gifts this morning and they were all laughing with every gifts that the bride to be is opening one by one.Most of her co anchor gave her naughty and sexy gifts which according to them, she can used on their first night with her hubby. Some of the details for her upcoming wedding celebration was flashed in the screen and one of the preparation she have that caught my attention was here wedding invitations because it looks simple yet still has its class. Their wedding rings and her engagement ring was also flashed, her gown don't have too much designed but I like the cut and style, I imagine the gown worn by her and I could picture her so lovely in her white gown.

JUSTICE WAS SERVED

I am so thankful today that I had my time to sleep the whole day. Forget about cleaning the room, fixing the bedsheets and everything for my needs today. Now, I'm back and fully charged again. Last night me and tabi, went to the place were we used to go during the times when we were starting to know each other well. Though our first two hours was wasted because I get irritated with our neighbors tent, that irritation leads to silence for more than an hour and that makes him annoyed too. We were like strangers with each other while eating our dinner because we were not talking at all. The following hours was quite good and well spent in the new cottage we  transferred. We had to because we will go home losers if were not going to enjoy the beauty of that place. While leaving the first cottage and pay for our bills, tabi  argued with the cashier in charge. He was so irritated with the cashiers attitude. I was annoyed too, because the cashier was arrogant yet dumb but I  keep my calm and leave all that arguing with  tabi and the cashier. At the end the issue was resolved and the cashier was apologetic after tabi confronted her and asked the management to check her work. Justice was served for us. After the incident, we forgot about our own issue and started laughing at each other. We spent our night chatting ,having a few drinks and staring the full moon outside the window of our cottage, we leave the place past  midnight  and go home  to rest. Life is good especially if spent with someone you connect well. Ordinary things becomes extra ordinary when were not fighting, haha. I love it.

DREAMS AND RELATIONSHIP

When faced in situation were tough decision needs to be done. How do you deal issues? Well some are good at it, they are well versed and geared in handling compromised and could easily come up with good solutions. But to some its an hilarious state.

When one of the person you valued a lot asked you a favor that would mean sacrificing some of your dreams and ambitions, can you give in? just to preserved the good relationship? Is it better to keep silent and just go on with the flow so that no more issues will be brought up, no more rewinding and reminding you of all the good deeds and favors they gave you so the relationship stayed good. Isn't it selfish to hold the persons growth they want outside the box and explore possibilities just because of  their beliefs over the particular issue and their not open anymore to other options.

My boss once told me  these ..If you really love me, then show it. Don't just say it! He was asking me to stay in his supervision but I have decided to try a new challenge in my field that I strongly believed I could expound my learning capacity and download more knowledge in favor of me. Now, I am trapped! I was asked again for the 6th time  to stay with the group for they need my service and besides I have already grow with them together with their vision and mission and I already aware of  the group's culture. But what  to do? It's not that my heart had turned away from them, buts it's more of challenging myself out of my comfort zone. I hope they will understand it and would learn to let me go without any grudges.

DEXTER

My plan tonight to spend my free time didn't happen as it is plan, instead I start typing here again in front of my computer and browse a bit. I forgot my plan to watch the television drama series of DEXTER-- lead by Michael C. Hall. Anyway tabi was the one who introduced me that movie to watch yesterday. Because he has already watched the series 1 and the series 2 is not playing in their dvd player , he tried to play it in my player and there it goes, the cd played so I got hooked up too, despite the fact that I didn't watch the series 1. Anyway even if I have not watch the 1st series the story was getting my attention.

 The story was set in Miami. Dexter Morgan is an adopted son of Harry Morgan, a police officer in Miami who recognized Dexter to have sociopathic tendencies, and taught Dexter to channel his passion to thrill killing. Since I have not yet watch the 1st series, I still don't know what trauma Dexter had experience during his childhood that puts his addiction of ending the lives of  people in dark side of the alley. I am now signing off! I will just here some facts about Dexter next time I continue this piece.

HAPPY TO BELONG

I am so happy  that my blog entries under CRUCIAL BLISS  was  finally approved by ppp management.  At last my sacrifices for that blog site had materialize now. True enought that if we have the patience and dedication on what we are doing,  soon you will harvest what you sow. I spend more hours every night updating  my entries, editing  words and spelling , blog hopping in the middle of the night like what i am doing right now. God is so amazing , He rescued me from my worries. 

Maintaining character

Being wealthy gives you the access to do what you desire, to have what you wish for. One best example I knew is the family I have known for how many years. This family used to live a very simple life. They can't even send all of their children in school, but one day the very simple life become extravagant in living; their father won millions in lottery. So their family lifestyle change, they send their children to school and purchase a new house and lot. Things have change for good that was I knew, but after months of being an instant millionaire I noticed that the relationship in that family had also change. The character of each family member becomes extreme in attitude. Pride was developed; my friend in that family became arrogant and rude. Money had changed him.  


Some people become slaves in money. They think they are superior to others because they have plenty. They failed to see that money isn't everything. God said “do not be conformed in the things of the world".  

KEEPING THE LOVE ALIVE

 Can you keep the Love alive when you are living with your partner you no longer love? But you have children with him. I have asked this question because one of my dear friends is having a problem with her marriage. I am so concern with her that I didn't realize that I am giving her the worst advice, I have judge her marriage according to what I saw and what I believe that is best for both of them.


I believe that every marriage is unique and has God's blessing. And I also believe that there is no such thing called “Accident in life” all things happened to serve its purpose. I am not against divorce but I am not favor with that kind of solution. I regret giving my friend an immature advice; I told her to annul her marriage with her irresponsible husband, without thinking that they have a child. Instead of convincing her that it is still best for both of them to sit down and humble themselves to discuss their issues and find solutions that will make them strong together.


“Marriage is not a bed of roses" as I usually heard among the couples who are striving to save their marriage. What good it can give when they both decides to end up their marriage. I know a couple who does not love each other anymore but keeps intact for the sake of their children. The mother sacrifices her own happiness to protect her marriage with her irresponsible husband. Today, their 4 children had grown up and has a good careers in their fields of expertise, but as to her marriage the issue has not yet settled between them but the point is , they are still making their way to keep the family whole and solid for the welfare of their children.

HIDING SINGING SOUL

This afternoon, we rehearsed  our line up songs that we are going to sing for our Friday worship. Since this whole month of June our department ( Business and Development Group) are the ones in charge to lead the worship.  Because I feel like I am not that worthy and ready yet to lead the whole congregation even if my boss is starting to trained me  I still insist and make  lot's  of excuses just to avoid the responsibility.

Guilty as I am, for it is like denying the All powerful God and refusing God's blessing to pour out into my life. Even if I know I must be thankful because I was given the chance to offer my praise and worship to God, still I ignore. Oh, God may you forgive me for this. Please give me courage,  I hope he  will give me the spirit to glorify his name  in front of the congregation.

I'm afraid what people might say about my voice. I am afraid that they might comment against my performance. My nonsense reasons because I don't like to receive negative comments,  I set aside my deepest desire to return the goodness God  is showing me from  my day to day living.Oh God forgive me of my sin.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY

I want to dedicate this space to my Father , Brothers and Unclesok and my friends out there who are celebrating the fathers day with their own family at home. I just made a phone call to  my father today to greet him a happy fathers day, because i was not able to visit  them today at home. I needed to stay here in the apartment to do some stuffs. Washed my uniforms for the week and do some cleaning here. I also  cannot leave the house since my sister is out in manila, I have to take care her dog while she is  still recovering from giving  birth last June 18, 2009 to a  healthy baby boy, She has to rest first to gain back her energy before coming home.
Happy Fathers Day to all the  daddy  blogger out there. May life comes to you as blessed as God's wants you to experience.

BLESSED GODMOTHER

Yesterday my neighbor asked me thru text if I could be a godmother to their daughter Aliza. The christening was held at the catholic ground near our area this morning. Dennis, was my childhood neighbor, He's family is a Roman Catholic follower and he married a Muslim. Dennis told me that after years of discussing with her Muslim wife the importance of christening in Roman Catholics, His wife had at last agreed to his request that their little angel be baptized .Only to a condition that there will be no pork to be prepared in the reception. Not bad, after all it is also good, at least the we can avoid too much cholesterol from the pork. I admire this couple because despite of their religious differences at the end they grow together and respect each others beliefs. Just proving that love conquers all, religious boundaries are set aside to meet half way.