THE MORE THE LESS

My feelings these fast few days is not that good but not that bad. I have to experienced some embarrassment and annoyance and disappointment to step up. Why I say so? Because I realized that the more I expect big the less I get and the bigger I get disappointed. It cause me to stumble and have myself questioned everytime the day would end. I have a relationship with whom who had flaws and not perfect, we had our fight and arguments oftentimes yet were still trying to save the relationship. My patience is being tested and my tongue has become sensible in choosing the words that I am to release. But why is that the more I tried to tame my tongue and the more I tried to extend my patience and hold my control, the less I fell happy with what I am doing. The feeling is like I am trying to be in control, trying to be calm, trying to be cool and unaffected but I end up fooling myself because I feel like something in me is being oppressed. I'm getting the message and I am trying to do something before it totally consumed me.

anne a lay apostle