I am not sure where to start my ranting but anyway I will let my memory do the inventory. I do not know if some people are experiencing also at times the kind of shifting of minds. Those abrupt changes and drives towards things , goals , desires, plans and etc. The moment that suddenly you've been struck or hit by something that you cannot explain yourself. When you have planned it for almost half a year already , decided to pursue for that thing that your dreaming of, then one night out of nothing you came to realize, Am I doing these for a greater cause? or Am I just bored which is why I needed something to occupy my free time in order for me to feel valuable. Oh God, Do I really need that laminated plastic of identity? its confusing me these past few days.
At times I wanted to stop studying and pushing myself for it, but I do not know why I can't give it up that easily, yet at the back of my mind there are scenes that is crippling my drive to accelerate. I need some faith that comes from within me, but how? if subconsciously I am entertaining those hindrances reaching my mind. My friend says , Pray that you may get wisdom from above. And I say amen and I hope I can stand still.