Showing posts with label Confession. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Confession. Show all posts

I'VE LEARN IT THE HARD WAY

I woke up late today, I forgot to alarm my clock. I did inform my boss of my whereabouts this morning. I have no choice other than to file an under time, since I had three tardiness for the month and if I make it to four times, I 'd get an award for sure. So better this way. Oh, and by the way , last Friday my boss showed me my employees performance appraisal report, the coverage of the appraisal is  from January -June 2010. She was a bit hesitant to give me her findings about my performance. Looks like there's something to break it  it to me gently. Of course I've been expecting that. After the incident that happened to us, in my first 4 months of stay under her.

When she handed me the report and saw the appraisal report, it says , I have meet the standard but low. Wow, a slap on my face. From the range of 10, I was rated 5.80. It immediately came to my mind that it's pay back time for me. Anyway, I keep myself noted on all her comments. Like I was hard headed, stubborn and need's more instruction before I could get it right.  Yay! I know for sure, I am not that kind, and because it was her opinion, I let it go. If I could remember, the reason why she requested me to be her assistant, and asked my previous boss to let go of me, and leave my previous boss no choice and let me decide is that she promise me a good package and career growth, because she knew I have the potential, She knew that because I already  work for her for countless times even if she has her own assistant. But then , after I started reporting under her,. I didn't like some of her  rules and I became rebellious with her ways. I disobeyed her  at times. And yet, her time comes to rate me. It's pay back  time. I can't react because I really  made an impression, I was hit in my attitude. Though I know I performed well, the criteria is not  just about performance but more of attitude too, and I am so guilty on that part. I've learn it the hard ways. Now,  I still have until December , before she will do another appraisal. Since every six months we are evaluated, all employees from executives up to the ranks. We are just evaluated, but there's no merit increase if you excel. But it will be kept in our 201 files. They say for future references.  Well, whatever, maybe this is the reason why until now, I'm still working with her. To make up and show her that I am also good and nice. Anyways, were starting a new friendship and I am obedient now. I was just provoke and so the bad blood flows once upon a time.

SAY A LITTLE PRAY FOR ME

My logic is shrinking, my brain cell is not properly working, Needless to say I'm a mess. I give excuses with those not so good thoughts. I am blind, yeah I think so. I know the things to do, but sad to say I can't do it. I am so focus on my own feelings, my own happiness. I'm trap with lines that goes " Enjoy it will it last" . I wanted to be happy, regardless if it means compromising my values and principles. I'm so coward to face the real world. I am so afraid to loss this possession. Can't let go though my mind is shouting out loud, giving me enough reason to give up. Yet I'm still justifying my act. I know no one can help me other than myself but I am not doing anything.What a wreck! I have brought up my issue with the Lord as I know to him nothing is impossible. And in time I believe I can get through with this.  But for now, I keep sailing without definite direction.